Me and Tony Snow

I just saw a piece on MSNBC about White House spokesman Tony Snow. Apparently his cancer has returned. I interviewed him once in Monterey.
Two years ago, Snow was diagnosed with colon cancer. His colon was removed and underwent two years of chemotherapy. According to the news reports I've seen and read, Snow was nearing two years of remission when the cancer reappeared.
The MSNBC report, part of Keith Oberman's show, depicted Snow's chemo treatment. During the chemo, he had lost weight, his hair had lost color and was thinning, but he used to leave work early on Fridays for treatment. They showed a shot of him sitting in a recliner, plugged into an iv, looking at the screen of a blackberry and typing a message. The man continued to work through chemo. And not just work, but work as a press secretary when the white house press corps started to ask real questions again. Damn. that's strength.
I remember when I met him. It was a 15-minute press conference before he and Dick Gephart (I met him too -- weird looking dude) lectured before a college audience as part of Leon Pannetta's Institute for public policy at CSUMB. I only took the assignment because I figured it put me in line to cover Hilliary Clinton's visit to the Panetta Institute. If you're wondering, no it didn't.
there were mostly local reporters -- KSBW, KCBA, KION, the Salinas California, the Monterey Herald -- assigned to the press conference. Maybe there was an AP reporter or someone from the San Jose Merc -- I don't remember.
Each reporter basically had the time to ask one question. So I tried to roll everything into one question. I don't remember what it was but it vaguely had something to do with meaningful debate despite rancorous partisanship in D.C.. Panetta, Gephart and Snow all laughed and said something equally inconsequential.
But I remember at some point Snow addressed the reporters as if he was one of us.
"Come on guys, we know we've got to work with the facts," he said. or something like that.
I silently stewed in anger: how could this talking head from the Fox network, practically an apologist for the bush administration, call himself a journalist? Outside of his t.v. work, his time at newspapers was writing right-wing editorials.
I think hours later I came up with some brilliant, cutting rebuttal in my head.
I forgot what that was too.
But I still think the same about him. After all, he is literally the white house's spokesman. And if I met him again, i'd tell him so. at least i'd like to think so.
but I'd also give him props for fighting his cancer like an aggressive reporter goes after a story.

I'll get rid of my hair before my cancer does

I called my barber this afternoon; Thomas at Curly's in downtown Tucson, across from the Ronstadt transit center.
i could hear the the usual commotion in the background: mens voices, a sports reporter from the television reading off scores and recalling plays and the faint rumbling of bus engines and traffic.
Maybe it was my voice or the way i pronounced his name, but he recognized me right away. he asked how I was doing.
"Remember how I said I might be calling about shaving my head," I started.
Oh no, he responded.
"Well, it's time to make that call."
I told him I'd be starting chemo Monday. He said it ain't easy but assured me as a young man, I'd be able to handle it.
I said thanks and said we'd talk about it Saturday morning when I come in. He agreed.
I may not lose my hair in chemo. I might.
but I'm not going to let cancer take my hair away. I'm going to take control of that and not give anything over to my cancer freely.
The Friday before my surgery, I ran into Thomas at the YMCA. He was also having surgery the following week. We talked about our respective operations in the lobby of the gym and wished each other well. not long after I dropped in for a fade and we caught up. it took him about a week to get back on his feet from his surgery,he said, but he was back swimming again. I told him then that things were up in the air for me and I might be back for a different hair cut. that was June.

Another Benefit in Tucson, AZ

This woman is amazing. Actually, all these women are amazing.
Rosa Abarca for keeping up the fight despite all the treatments and surgeries.
Her daughter Josefina for organizing a benefit for her mother.
And of course Carmen Duarte, one of the legendary reporters around the star.
Check it out: http://www.azstarnet.com/neighbors/195557

Welcome to My World !

There is so much that I have learned since the first time I heard the words, "You have Cancer." It seemed as if I was being given a present instead of a diagnosis. The doctor was casual about the procedure and the treatment. I stood in his office hallway. Hallway, you may gasp! Yes, that is where I got the news in 1991. As I was struggling for my breath and about to pass out...I suggested that we go into his office. He threw at me words and surgical terms I had never heard of. My brain shut down as he said that the surgery would require the removal of my right breast. I objected to that, and what woman or man wouldn't and asked if there was another alternative. Finally, I realized that I should read Susan Loves's book about breasts and also make some appointments with other doctors for second opinions. I set up seven second opinions...I wanted to make sure that I left no door unopened. But it only took a visit to Memorial Sloan Kettering and to a wonderful doctor who actually thought that I should sit in an office and talk about this cancer thing. So there we sat and he explained what I had...he suggested that I write notes and then he asked me the most wonderful question, "Is there anything that I can do for you to help you through this?" It was then I knew that having cancer was going to be a journey of some kind, an opportunity to learn about myself and other people and to make decisions and choices that would be the best ones for me. Since that day I have had cancer four more times and I have been on a spiritual journey, learning about life, people and myself. I have felt alone sometimes. Only someone who has had cancer can truly understand how it effects us. I hope that my sharing now and in the future will help you as well as me. God bless us all............Amf

Dr. Einhorn

A few days after my oncologist recommended chemotherapy, I called him back with a bunch of questions: what health precautions should I take during the treatment, what sort of diet should I be on, should I sperm bank, etc.
I also asked him about the chemo. regimen I'll be on: Etoposide, or VP-16, cisPlatin, Bleomycin, and Neulasta if needed. Specifically I asked him why these drugs and dosages? He said the treatment comes from Dr. Einhorn, one of the leading authorities on testicular cancer and treatment in the United States.
So I looked the dude up.
Lawrence Einhorn teaches at Indiana University. In 1974, he developed a chemotherapy regimen that literally turned the mortality rate of this disease upside down.
In the early 1970s, testicular cancer patients had a 90 percent mortality rate. mortality rate = chance of dying. Today, the survival rate is 95 percent.
All of this happened within my life time (well, add about five years).
Thanks Dr. Einhorn.
And for the record, Dr. Einhorn was part of the medical team that treated Lance Armstrong.

a little cancer everywhere

ever since i was diagnosed with cancer, I've had the incredible luck of meeting cancer survivors in all walks of my life. from old friendships to sources within the beat I cover for the Star to friends of friends. and of course everyone has a story to share -- of their tio, tata, grandpa, friend or just something they gleaned from an article about Lance Armstrong. people don't have to search far to find some personal connection to this disease.
so I've been reading this book "Cancer: the evolutionary legacy" by Mel Greaves to understand what is happening to me and millions of others.
I guess one of the most interesting things I've since discovered in my reading is summed up in this quote: "the issue isn't just why do we get cancer but why not."
It's Greaves's opinion that cancer is best understood and explained within a Darwinian, or evolutionary, framework.
To put it simply, the mechanics within our body that have prompted changes from our primate origins is a double edged sword. on the one hand, our body, in a sense, mutates in response to our environment and needs, like recovering from illness. but that which allows our body to mutate, or adapt, to our environment can also go unchecked, prompting cancerous cells to grow and multiply.
"mutations happen all the time and are blind to consequences," Greaves writes. "This is the base upon which natural selection and evolution operates in nature. The second advantageous but inherent dangerous legacy is a physiological requirement,especially in more complex multi cellular creatures including ourselves, for cellular functions that endow resilience but are pregnant with malignant potential..."
the ability of our cells to change and adapt, to move quickly where they are needed (like healing, or a scab forming...)can also go awry.
crazy.

Needles and Ink

I hate needles. I have two tattoos. Nurses always point out my tattoos after i tell them i hate needles.
hating needles is a common statement from patients. nobody likes cold steel poking into their body and blood extracted. when I had surgery in May, I remember lying on my hospital bed before the operation and freaking out. not over the fact I was about to lose a testicle but that I was going to have multiple needles in my body for an extended period of time.
like I was saying, the nurses ask how can I hate needles but have tattoos, especially the big posada piece that nearly covers my right bicep. it's different, I tell them. of course, all the small talk about tattoos is just to distract me, the nervous patient, from the needle in my arm and the blood that they're taking. a tattoo needle doesn't go as deep as a doctor's needle. and a tattoo only begins to hurt after the skin is really bruised, like when tattoo artists shade in for effect. or when it's over bone. besides, I find the sensation of being tattooed slightly erotic. but that's another discussion.
I spoke with Adrian last night. he told me I'm going to get poked alot over the course of chemo. he said he got needles three times a day and it made him feel like a junkie.
I got used to the sensation during my weekly blood tests. but a few of the nurses said people actually get more sensitive to the pin prick as the frequency increases.
we'll see.
before any of this happened, I planned to get a new tattoo over the summer. the insignia of los golondrinas, ancient family property that's now a museum outside Santa Fe. guess I'll have to wait until after all the doctor needles are done pricking me.